and to think that the only two words i can use to express this nagging feeling in my stomach, the cramps in my head, the guilt seeping through my blood and the vacant blankness in my eyes is, i'm sorry.
but there is a difference between understanding where somebody is coming from and feeling sorry. i suppose you could say i feel sorry because i know exactly how it feels like; in every lurch, ice, green and exposure. but i also know this is exactly the way i shouldn't act. i'm torn between letting you stick it out yourself; the impatience i feel sometimes when you don't understand and knowing that i'm just as vulnerable as you're feeling now. i'm sorry i can't always be there and that i can't demand likewise of you.
maybe its simply because by the time i realised what i've missed, you're already in bed sound asleep. so for now, goodnight love.
