in the midst of midterms. i am resisting the urge to slam my head on the metal shelves in the library. i just realised i made one very stupid mistake on my econ paper. i dont know why my brain feels like there is a rock band playing in my synapses, why i can't seem to focus and why even when i sit down, with no music, no people, no distractions, i still cant seem to concentrate. what infuriates me the most is that all the things i'm learning now are supposed to come easily to me but all the things, aren't. math - calculus, english - grammar, econ - basic principles, theatre - stage design. well, at least with the excpetion of stage design, i feel like i'm playing hide and seek with shadows. i feel ridiculous asking questions to fellow classmates who have had no background whatsoever in that given subject. i feel like i don't know anything and like i should be taken out and shot.
GAH
it'll be all over on friday when i take my last paper on friday and then maybe these feelings of worthlessness and self intended harm will lift as quickly as they have descended upon me.
