a) quality time with the sisters, three, and clemmy b) discovering that steph and i are basically the same person, with minor differences. c) multiple shopping trips and limited buying (how it should be) d) ridiculously good food - komasa, freische, that brunch place (!!!!!) - and i say this because now everything in the dining halls is inedible. e) empowering 5 minute walks to centurycity. no really it made me VERY happy. f) cookie and pepsi, which have no purpose but to be adorable g) STAR WARS MARATHON (!!) h) everyday, pinkberry (!!!) i) stationery shopping (!) j) going back to cmc ( -!!) but going back to my bed (!!)
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if it were my place, i would tell you exactly what you needed to change to stop perpetuating the situtation you're in right now. it really is the simplest thing you could possibly do - but then what do i know right - i'm not you, i don't know what it is like to be you - even if more than half of my life is a decent time frame of observation. try to make plans and change. easier said then done, but i never said it was the easiest thing, only the simplest, most straightforward. trust me, there is no comparison between the epiphany and the necessary effort needed to ge there. it is all worth it. i would tell you that you're special - and i know that you know you are, but i don't think your idea of special is the same idea of special i have of you. its not something i can articualte, anyhow. you just need structure, and you need to start believing that intelligence and being model material isn't all that its cracked up to be because i know you have both. its the hard work, the sweat and tears that counts in the end, because it is the only thing in your control.
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i'd meet you millennium into the past at the edge of the world, just where the flying dutchmans and the lucky maidens of that time were falling off into the great abyss of nothing, when people believed the cure for the common cold was a decapitated chicken at the head of your bed, when honor was important enough to die for. no, that's right, the edge of the world, the 90 degree doorway to nothingness, it exists, you see, because people believed it did, but then we started meddling with science and inventing rules and structure, and that we went and decided that the earth was really round and not flat and thay's how it became. i'd talk about the future then, the present today, and i'd tell you that it doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, and that fundametal belief most people have that things keep improving is false. all we managed to do is atomize not individualize and that nobody believes in love, friendship, or beliefs worth dying for anymore, except the fundamentalists, of course. science bring us fun things though, like the internet, genetic drugs, hybrid fruits like the grapple; but at the end its a zero sum game, with science and technology, really. i'd watch you shrug and wonder why this is important or even, necessary, because you're right, it isn't, really.
