quiet battle of wills, the fact that i'm here means i lost, kinda, 2 hour nap in the afternoon, BBT, and other indulgences, all instead of what i'm supposed to be doing. i found something new to be afraid of, because you know, its important to know what scares you, and its this, sucking at what you do. i'd like to be awesome, in this career, or the next, as long as i find it eventually. lately, people have been telling me that i haven't found myself yet. that banking is all wrong for me cause i'm not that person. whatever that person means. i'd like to take my chances, whenever i can, and wherever i can, and i think banking still sounds pretty good to be, so thank you very much, but no thanks. i gave up doctoring, and writing, and all those other noble professions, cause it turns out, i'm not that person either. and i know you're not supposed to, but i'll still say it, those can wait, and maybe its ok to just be pragmatic, rather than take your chances, even if it is considered less courageous, but i'm done being courageous. nobody talks about the flip side of the coin. yes, sometimes when you fall you fly, but sometimes, you just fall, and being afraid of that is okay. its just, okay.
